God works in mysterious ways...

Sometimes in life you feel like God has punished you. That your life really sucks. That when it rains it pours. You feel like there will be no brighter tomorrow. I have felt that way. More than once. I always heard the expression and never thought much of it. Until there comes a time in your life when that saying proves true, I don't think you can really appreciate it.

For me, it was when we lost our baby boy, Trenton. I was angry, upset, hurt, crushed, all the emotions imaginable. I was angry at God for so long. Why did he do this to us? Why did he choose ME? What had I done to deserve such a harsh punishment?

It was a very emotional journey that Travis and I had to endure. Trenton was delivered prematurely at 21 weeks. No chance of survival. He was big enough that we got to hold him, kiss him and say our good-byes. I remember that when the nurse asked us if we wanted to see him, we both initially said no. That it would be too painful. We changed our minds and got to hold our beautiful son and pray to God to hold him tight in his arms. I am glad that we changed our minds, it was the most emotional thing that we have ever had to face. It is also one of the most special and tender moments that I have had with Travis. Only us knew what it felt like, only us knew how our hearts physically hurt.

It took a while for me to get life back on track, I had a special little boy that needed my attention. Andrew was old enough to know what was going on, although I am sure he comprehended it like only a child would. He knew that his baby brother was in Heaven. I answered questions as they came up, not trying to give too much information at once.

I knew we would try again, that we would be praising God when we had a new baby, and that our family was still not complete. This was a bump in the road. There would be a brighter tomorrow.

Addison was born March 29, 2005. I knew then that yes, everything does happen for a reason and God DOES work in mysterious ways. Looking at our beautiful daughter, it all became so clear to me. Without Trenton, we would be without Addison.

Our family is complete. The Lord knew what he was doing.


Trenton Philip Garrett 12-29-03